Not Tired At All

[Tony Hardie-Bick]

On 01/04/11 12:16, Gert van Santen wrote:
> Op 1-4-2011 13:12, Michael Zacherl. schreef:
>>
>> I always though that at some point this will happen, and as always it comes at the worst possible moment:
>> I'm tired of playing and performing - including the preparations ...
>> I'm really tired of seeking sounds, developing new stuff etc, I feel like repeating myself.
>> We got this gig on Sunday, probably our biggest and most expensive so far, so performance is crucial.
>>
>> Damn ...
>>
>> I'm looking how to overcome this - in literally no time (I'm friggin' busy until Sunday).
>>
>> Any useful suggestions?
>
> Now this must be the most intriguing mail I've read here in a
> long time...
>
> I have to think about this for a bit...

Actually, I have an answer.

I'll try to express it without using the F word this time :)

Your symptoms are *entirely* normal.

1) You are doing what any musician can be proud of.
2) All creative people are self-destructive
3) Yes, you are genuinely tired, that's why it's all so convincing.

Do the f-ing gig (damn... tried not to swear)

Basically, you're unbelievably lucky, to have such talent, and such opportunity, 
in a city with such talent and such opportunity.

As for the tiredness, I am afflicted by that daily. It's a sign of pushing to 
the limit (but not over).

Nevertheless, it's an interesting comment you make, but really indicative that 
you're just beginning to do things that are artistically interesting, and the 
part of you that's done FA (ooops) for the past twenty years (compared to what 
you know is your rather unusual potential) is fighting hard to prove that you 
are mediocre.

You may convince yourself, but that's not even half the battle, mate ;)

OTOH - there is genuinely some care (even great care) that must be taken with 
mental exhaustion, and you might want to check which kind of exhaustion you're 
facing.

With mental exhaustion (the dangerous kind) you just feel strange, and if you're 
lucky that translates to physical exhaustion after a couple of days of doing 
nothing. If you're unlucky...

With physical exhaustion, it's a simple business of not adding unecessarily to 
the load. The real difficulty is with projects which extend over many months, 
when a complete balance is required.

Another issue is being in control of your own resources. When working with 
others, this increasingly slips away, and sometimes it's necessary (even at the 
cost of confusing good friends) to be very clear in what you will or will not do.

But, frankly, to be making such noise, in Vienna, within such a wonderful time 
and place and people, you owe it to the music to get yourself sorted out.

Tony (HB)