In UK in the wekend from the 11th to the 13th of September

[Jay Vaughan]

> I started at work again in August (had a pretty long paternity week  
> compared to most fathers, I guess). It was horrible, but we managed.  
> Magnus, as his name is, reacted pretty strong to me being away from  
> home for most of the day - a reaction that just confirmed what we  
> already felt - that he had bonded very well to both my wife and I.

I have gone through this as well .. its very difficult at first, but  
the two of you (him and you) have to get used to the rhythmn of  
balance between work and home time.  I find it very difficult, at  
times, to reconcile the fact of hard work and little time for the boy,  
but its really just a fact: you're doing the absolute best thing for  
him, by working and ensuring that the home life is protected from  
financial stress and that the three of you have what you need to  
continue to survive ..

> After about a week and a half, he seemed like he was more at ease  
> with the situation. Well, anyways. The job was still horrible, so  
> when I got a chance to start in another (very interesting) position  
> the 1st of September, I took it. My family simply deserved to see a  
> happy man when coming home in the evening, and I was not.
>

Definitely the truth!

>
> - and no; I haven't got the slightest clue of how I will be able to  
> be separated from my son for a week. And even less how he will manage.


When Flynn was born, it was the hardest thing for me to go back to  
work and not spend my days with him .. I'd gotten so used to having my  
whole day with him and just always being there, and its still a bother  
to be honest, but its something that we're both learning to deal  
with.  Whats amazing is that lately he's been really getting it that I  
have to go to work, and calming down, and as soon as I get home making  
sure I know what he's been up to all day, holding my hand and just  
hanging out, very low stress, and so on.  This is something I'm sure  
all Fathers have to learn to cope with (mine didn't) .. either we  
work, or we find some other alternative lifestyle that allows us to  
hang out all day.  So far I haven't found that alternative, but if  
anyone knows how it works, let me know .. ;)

The important thing is that you take your time - whenever, and however  
long you can - together and just the two of you always do something  
together, as a team.  There is no greater reward than watching your  
child grow strong and healthy, and it can take as little as 10 minutes  
a day or as much as the whole darn day.  Its up to the two of you, not  
just you, not just him, as a team .. play it like a team issue and it  
gets really, really good.

I've got vacation now, two weeks, and I'm planning on having some  
great quality time with the boy just doing stuff .. going to be some  
days at MetaLab playing with the new lazzzzzzzzor machine (we're going  
to make a robot) and lots of things like that. I hope you'll get those  
days too, and just remember, no matter how horrible the job, you've  
got a little guy at home thats depending on you keeping things in  
order long enough for him to get on his feet.  Don't screw it up; even  
the worst jobs are better than a dark future for your child.

;
--
Jay Vaughan