Not Tired At All

[Gert van Santen]

Op 1-4-2011 13:57, Tony Hardie-Bick schreef:
> On 01/04/11 12:16, Gert van Santen wrote:
>> Op 1-4-2011 13:12, Michael Zacherl. schreef:
>>>
>>> I always though that at some point this will happen, and as always it comes at the worst possible moment:
>>> I'm tired of playing and performing - including the preparations ...
>>> I'm really tired of seeking sounds, developing new stuff etc, I feel like repeating myself.
>>> We got this gig on Sunday, probably our biggest and most expensive so far, so performance is crucial.
>>>
>>> Damn ...
>>>
>>> I'm looking how to overcome this - in literally no time (I'm friggin' busy until Sunday).
>>>
>>> Any useful suggestions?
>>
>> Now this must be the most intriguing mail I've read here in a
>> long time...
>>
>> I have to think about this for a bit...
>
> Actually, I have an answer.
>
> I'll try to express it without using the F word this time :)
>
> Your symptoms are *entirely* normal.
>
> 1) You are doing what any musician can be proud of.
> 2) All creative people are self-destructive
> 3) Yes, you are genuinely tired, that's why it's all so convincing.
>
> Do the f-ing gig (damn... tried not to swear)
>
> Basically, you're unbelievably lucky, to have such talent, and such opportunity,
> in a city with such talent and such opportunity.
>
> As for the tiredness, I am afflicted by that daily. It's a sign of pushing to
> the limit (but not over).
>
> Nevertheless, it's an interesting comment you make, but really indicative that
> you're just beginning to do things that are artistically interesting, and the
> part of you that's done FA (ooops) for the past twenty years (compared to what
> you know is your rather unusual potential) is fighting hard to prove that you
> are mediocre.
>
> You may convince yourself, but that's not even half the battle, mate ;)
>
> OTOH - there is genuinely some care (even great care) that must be taken with
> mental exhaustion, and you might want to check which kind of exhaustion you're
> facing.
>
> With mental exhaustion (the dangerous kind) you just feel strange, and if you're
> lucky that translates to physical exhaustion after a couple of days of doing
> nothing. If you're unlucky...
>
> With physical exhaustion, it's a simple business of not adding unecessarily to
> the load. The real difficulty is with projects which extend over many months,
> when a complete balance is required.
>
> Another issue is being in control of your own resources. When working with
> others, this increasingly slips away, and sometimes it's necessary (even at the
> cost of confusing good friends) to be very clear in what you will or will not do.
>
> But, frankly, to be making such noise, in Vienna, within such a wonderful time
> and place and people, you owe it to the music to get yourself sorted out.

Beautifully said, Tony. Almost as if you pulled it out of a very 
interesting book that was written by yourself :-)

Gert
-- 

----------
gert van santen
www.gertvansanten.nl